It's Getting Worse.

The howling outside hasn't stopped all day. When I open the window I can hear it more clearly. It's like ten voices all screaming in pain and horror at once. Going to the most soundproof room in the house doesn't help at all. In fact, the screaming might be worse there. It grates on my ears, to the point that it's making the headache even worse. I have earbuds in, playing music from the computer as I write this.

My parents can't hear it. I asked my mom, and she looked at me as if I was crazy. I might be, in fact. I mean, I might actually be crazy. I don't even know at this point.

It didn't even stop when we went to swim team. I put my iPod on in the car so I couldn't hear it, but the second I got out of the car outside the pool I could hear it again. It sounded as if it was right around the corner. I was tempted to walk around and see where the Howler--because I know that's what's doing this, the goddamn Howler--was, but I didn't have anything to protect myself, and it was completely dark. No-one would have seen me if some bad had happened.

I'm afraid this is the first form of the punishment, incessant noise and constant tension. The stress and worry is killing me. I mean it literally, I felt my heart flip today. My family has a history of dying very young from weak hearts, even if they're completely healthy. I'm not completely healthy, I've had an awful cold for the past few months that won't go away.

Kleptosporia gave me two links to information. One looks like a crazy guy who kills people, but the other looks like it might have some information on how to protect myself. I'm going to read it, then see if the author has any advice for me. I hope he/she does. I would pick up the knife again, but I don't want to nearly stab my dad again. And the creatures, Locust and the Howler, would just know I had it.

R.C.