Friday, January 28, 2011

Entry #59, I Believe

Nobody ever tells you that waiting is the worst part of any family crisis. My mom always used to love watching murder mysteries on TV, and they would always go over all the important details. They never went over the months spent waiting for trials, the weeks between clues.

Even though I have swimming, and tennis, and all the other stuff I've gone back to (I have to go back, I can't waste my life), I have that nagging feeling in the back of my head that something even more horrible will happen. I mean, I don't think anything worse is possible, but I just have that feeling.

I'm at a swim meet all weekend. Just swam the mile before I came home and wrote this. Yes, I swim the longest events at the meet. The 500 (20 laps), the 1000 (40 laps), and the 1650 (66 laps/1 mile) are my main events. It really got my mind off of...stuff, because it's so tiring that you really can't think of anything other than the task at hand, swimming.

I haven't heard a peep from outside. It could just be the cold, and all the snow. But I think something's happened. I think something bad happened to whoever is doing this, and I think they're in trouble. Great. Let's hope they're dead, let's hope James got away. Not likely, but we can hope.

Even the shadows in the corner of my eye are gone. Now I know when the cat is running downstairs, or when my mom is passing by the room. Everything is much brighter.


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